Thursday, February 9, 2017

Attention Canis lupus familiaris: The World Needs OUR help

Dear Pals,

I hope you are all well. I need to let you in on something that the K9-PW (Canines for the Protection of the World) has been investigating since last July, and we need your help... The humans need our help... THE WORLD NEEDS OUR HELP. We are being attacked! The WORLD is under attack. What we are not sure is if it is from this Universe or from a parallel Universe.

We are not sure how long these creatures have been around, what we do know is that an application, which can be downloaded on phones has been developed to track them down. This application allows you to see them and catch them. Humans being the primitive creatures they are think it is all a game, but my dear friends, it is anything but a game.

These creatures are EVERYWHERE... in the streets, in our houses, in our kennels, even on our beds! I even spotted one in the babies crib and quite a few in the President's garden. They call themselves Pokemon, and there are many many many subspecies. In fact, several look like some animals and creatures found on our planet, that is why we are suspecting they come from a parallel universe rather than another planet. What is scary is that these creatures can survive in ANY habitat. For example, creatures that look very similar to our fish can survive OUTSIDE water, on grasslands, even in the streets. Anyway, my friend Niantic, who is the chairdog of the K9-PW has developed this application which can be downloaded on most devices which have a GPS and an internet
connection. He is so clever, he disguised it as a game, so humans can help us in catching these beings and transferring them to THE professor who then takes care of them. Humans catch them randomly, and initially it was working, but many have stopped playing the 'game'. So it is time for us to step in. We are recruiting all the long coated canines in the world who would like to help out. We are distributing collars with a little device on it, which allows us to see, catch and most importantly dispose of these creatures. The device is small enough to be hidden in the coats. Short coated dogs do not despair, we are working on an even smaller version you can use. In the meantime, use your human's phones during the night or when they are not looking, but make sure you attach them to a power source while using them or afterwards, as these creatures can drain a phone battery in minutes! The collar devices are powered by carbon dioxide, so all you have to do is pant, and they will power themselves. You need not worry. The device is so easy to use, even Leia manages to use it, and yes she has been recruited by the K9-PW for this special assignment along side Avril. They are Agent ASD002 and Agent ASD003. Paige is Agent ASD004, however, she is not on the outside and has been especially assigned to take care of the human baby, and make sure no harm comes to him by these creatures.

If you have any suggestions, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get in touch. We are on top of this, but suggestions are always welcome.

Love Curtis

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