Friday, February 24, 2017

It's Carnival on the Island... and some other parts of the World

Hello Pals,

Isn't it exciting? It's Carnival! Yey! "What is Carnival?" I hear some of you asking. Carnival is that time of the year when humans eat loads of sweets and meats, and also have loads of left over sweets and meats which half the time they forget on the table within my reach and which fall accidentally into my mouth. What's even better is that it lasts for four days and at the end of it, any meat that's left (not consumed by humans, and not 'accidentally' consumed by us) goes to us.

Humans sure are a funny species. Apparently they have this event whereby they fast for forty days from sweets. They say it's for religious purposes... I am not sure who they are actually fooling and who actually believes it. I have a feeling it's one of those things they say but don't even believe themselves. We all know why they fast from sweets for 40 days. By the end of the 40 days Summer
will be very close, and in summer most humans shed their coat and wear tiny tiny clothes. Fasting for 40 days usually helps them get into those tiny tiny clothes because they would have lost weight and supposedly look better!This time of the year also has it's very own sweets, you know the sort of thing you only eat during that time. Right now my human is doing something called 'prinjolata', I am helping her out by cleaning all the crumbs from the floor. I have also developed a doggy version. Recipe attached is of the human version, PM me for the doggy version.

Anyway, during this time they also wear funny clothing. Sometimes they even dress the dogs. Thank doG the human has her own mini-human to dress up. It saves us all the hassle. If there is something I hate, it's humans dressing me up. I don't mind putting a Bow-tie to raise up to an occasion or occasionally a hat, but I find it ridiculous when humans dress canines up! I saw pretty horrible costumes online of dressed dogs and I can honestly say I feel sorry for them. Once again... I am so so glad SHE has the mini-human to dress up, as otherwise I am sure she wouldn't hesitate to dress us up. It has happened a few times if you remember my early posts.

Anyway pals, I am off. It is getting rather late, and I am rather tired.

Speak soon,

Love Curtis

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Sicky week!

Hello Pals,

Hope you are all well. A very late blog this week, and not much to report. I have simply been too busy. I had to take some time off from work to sort things out here at home and I am now exhausted. It's been a tough week. Everyone at home has been ill. First it was the big humans, so  I had to look after the mini human and keep him entertained so the humans could stay in bed and sleep all day, so they could get better soon. Then as soon as the big humans got better, the mini human himself got ill, and he has been ill all week. Sooooo... I had to take care of him which was extra difficult because I couldn't even take him out for a walk, and those who have mini humans in the house know how cranky they get when they are ill and how more demanding they become. So I have been inventing all sorts of games to play with him, which I must say have worked, but none the less have left me exhausted.

On top of that I had to deal with Leia hitting puberty, her flirting and the trail of boyfriends queuing behind the door to get to her. Therefore, being the father figure in her life (even though I AM NOT her sire), I have had to tell each and everyone of them that she most certainly is NOT AVAILABLE, and of course I had to scare them all away... and clean up after them so the neighbor wouldn't complain.

Anyway, my dear friends, I have to be off. The mini human is waking up and I have to be by his side. Hope you have a good week, and speak soon

Love Curtis

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Attention Canis lupus familiaris: The World Needs OUR help

Dear Pals,

I hope you are all well. I need to let you in on something that the K9-PW (Canines for the Protection of the World) has been investigating since last July, and we need your help... The humans need our help... THE WORLD NEEDS OUR HELP. We are being attacked! The WORLD is under attack. What we are not sure is if it is from this Universe or from a parallel Universe.

We are not sure how long these creatures have been around, what we do know is that an application, which can be downloaded on phones has been developed to track them down. This application allows you to see them and catch them. Humans being the primitive creatures they are think it is all a game, but my dear friends, it is anything but a game.

These creatures are EVERYWHERE... in the streets, in our houses, in our kennels, even on our beds! I even spotted one in the babies crib and quite a few in the President's garden. They call themselves Pokemon, and there are many many many subspecies. In fact, several look like some animals and creatures found on our planet, that is why we are suspecting they come from a parallel universe rather than another planet. What is scary is that these creatures can survive in ANY habitat. For example, creatures that look very similar to our fish can survive OUTSIDE water, on grasslands, even in the streets. Anyway, my friend Niantic, who is the chairdog of the K9-PW has developed this application which can be downloaded on most devices which have a GPS and an internet
connection. He is so clever, he disguised it as a game, so humans can help us in catching these beings and transferring them to THE professor who then takes care of them. Humans catch them randomly, and initially it was working, but many have stopped playing the 'game'. So it is time for us to step in. We are recruiting all the long coated canines in the world who would like to help out. We are distributing collars with a little device on it, which allows us to see, catch and most importantly dispose of these creatures. The device is small enough to be hidden in the coats. Short coated dogs do not despair, we are working on an even smaller version you can use. In the meantime, use your human's phones during the night or when they are not looking, but make sure you attach them to a power source while using them or afterwards, as these creatures can drain a phone battery in minutes! The collar devices are powered by carbon dioxide, so all you have to do is pant, and they will power themselves. You need not worry. The device is so easy to use, even Leia manages to use it, and yes she has been recruited by the K9-PW for this special assignment along side Avril. They are Agent ASD002 and Agent ASD003. Paige is Agent ASD004, however, she is not on the outside and has been especially assigned to take care of the human baby, and make sure no harm comes to him by these creatures.

If you have any suggestions, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get in touch. We are on top of this, but suggestions are always welcome.

Love Curtis